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hannahpooper:

how the fuck does sexting even start like “haha ok that’s cool but let’s talk about my dick now”


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cheesyrogue:

cheesyrogue:

i made a new skyrim character whose main goal in life is to steal all of the cheese in skyrim for herself

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she hasn’t gotten very far yet but she’s off to a good start

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three cities worth of cheese… i’d call that progress


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leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now


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stylinwho:

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elizabitchtaylor:

I’m such a nice girl, I’m so sick of being fuckzoned!!!!!!!

What’s the fuckzone you ask? it’s this zone that guys put you in where they only want to fuck you; they don’t want to have a friendship with you and they aren’t satisfied with emotional commitment, they just want sex!!!!!

I’m a nice girl!!!! Stop putting me in the fuckzone!!!!!!!


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yutoube:

boy, i sure enjoy watching sports. when they throw the ball? classic


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hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face